For My Baby in Heaven

October 15 // Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day
Dedicated to my first child, who we lost at just 6 weeks in my womb.
Written in 2014.

“I Miss You”
by Bethany McGrath

I miss your laugh,
I miss your smile,
I even miss your cry,
And the way you looked me in the eye.

I miss your touch,
The way you scream,
Really, I miss everything.

The truth is though…
I never saw any of those.
It was only me dreaming, I suppose.

Holding you in my womb was a gift,
Yet you came to this earth & left so swift.
I prayed for you since before you were born,
But now that you’re gone, my heart has been torn
Into a million pieces shattered on the floor.
So I prayed that God would open a door.
A door that would bring you back into my womb
Just as miraculous as Jesus leaving the tomb.

I knew God could heal you, & I believed that He would,
But just because He could, didn’t mean that He should.

I may never understand the choice that He made,
But I know now in Jesus’ arm’s you lay.
You’re in a perfect place, & I am not.
I live with pain & sadness… it’s a lot.

I’m glad you are happy,
You have blessed me so much.
But some days, most days…
I long for your touch.